My life before I found God

This is a testimony my wife gave before our baptism on the 24th October:

My life before I found God was meaningless, shameful, ruthless and without purpose. I say this because:  I went to church when I felt like it, prayed mostly the “God please don’t let…” prayers and read a verse or two from the bible only when I felt down and needed a “pick-me-upper”. My life had no direction, no spiritual guidance; I was a “dead-man-walking”. I lacked a personal relationship with God and never bothered to seek Him. Somewhere in the back of my mind, somewhere in my heart, I knew and felt that there was a God I believed in or was supposed to believe in yet I never truly believed. I never did anything with the intention to please God and my thought were not those I could stand for on judgment day: everything was to please me and feed my sinful heart.

All this time while my life was in limbo, there was still that nagging feeling that I had to change my life, that this was not the way I wanted to be and surely not the way I wanted to die!

My husband came home one day and said to me: “I want to do things right, I want to live a Godly life”. I looked at him in shock, not sure if I understood what he said. Then I just knew what had happened to him had happened to me as well.  The Holy Spirit has spoken us and we knew we had to obey or else our future was doomed!

I cannot remember the exact date; however I can still see myself kneeling beside my bed, in the month of February 2008, saying this prayer:

“Lord, forgive me for all my sins- you know what they are. I come to you today, I repent oh Lord. Come into my heart, I receive you as my Lord and Saviour”.

From that day on I have never looked back nor have I ever regretted accepting Jesus into my life. I learned and am still learning so much about Jesus, how did I survive without Him? What I realize now is, He has always been with me and whenever He talked, I never listened. When I look back now, there were many instances where the Holy Spirit spoke to me but I was too lost in my sinfulness to even notice His presence.

I stand here today and say: I am a true believer. I am a Christian. I am a child of God. I love Him with all my heart. Choosing the narrow road hasn’t been easy. And God has blessed me with immeasurable joy and peace. I pray to raise my three baby boys the Godly way so that they too can find meaning, purpose and worth through Jesus Christ just as their mother has.

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